How cool can you look in a photograph with your dad
Answer: Kool
My dad is dead, his ashes are somewhere
He doesn’t speak, or write, or drink anymore
But your dad wears glasses that are big
and magnifying
and stylish 30 years ago
which is when I would have lived if I were a dad

gold chains are cool
I want you to remember this
I want you all to remember this
I want you to trace the history of a receding dad hairline
with your finger
like you think you trace the history of your autumnal sunsets
the important ones

sarcasm is cool
and dad did great things
like when he gave birth to your look before you had one
your eyes are wonderful and they have their own shadows
and sometimes looking great is better than doing great things
but almost never

Everybody
is
getting
a
koi
fish
tattoo

then
one
day
people
will
realize: Asia isn’t cool
North America is

and
their
kids
will
get
tattoos
of
abandoned
factories
on
their
arms

and
they
will
laugh
at
their
smudgy
grandparents

Your whole body looks like a
beat up mustache
What was you eatin’?
Some corn?

Your whole body looks like a
beat up mustache
Like a dog been through some dirt
Like some sorta gutta cat
Been eatin’ outta trashcans
You have

Your whole body looks like a
Beat up mustache
You been eatin’ some soup
Some greasy meat
You need a comb
You need a seat to sit on
Lord knows you need some rest
Lookin’ mighty haggard

Your whole body looks like a
Beat up mustache
A mustache that done some talkin’
Too much
Been beat up
Lookin’ like you

I’ve looked at pictures of buildings
I’ve read articles about buildings
I’ve burned articles about pictures of buildings
I’ve hung my old swim trunks on a wall
They aren’t mine they are loaners now they’re mine
They are ugly
They make my building ugly
They make me feel like a cheap bro

When I leave a building I leave it for good
When I’m learning about relationships I return
When there is nothing good about eggs I build
When there is a house with no scent I choose
This isn’t a place for friendly competition
This isn’t a place for open books
This isn’t your mother’s divorce palace
This isn’t your father’s obsessive compulsive aftershave

when you enter my room it’s a sacred space
there is a single candle and a light from the record player
it illuminates the things that I like on the wall
this is where the magic happens
magic is what I refer to as my private special time
my private special time that you can’t be a part of unless you play your cards right, and by cards I mean Uno
because Uno is special
Uno is a game that is played in rehab
it is also taught in elementary schools to prepare future children for rehab
it is a game that teaches you to shit on your friends
which is ok
but don’t let that vibe into my sacred space
Uno is a game that is played outside of my room
it is for classrooms and detox facilities run by doctors and teachers
now when I speak of private special time I am referring to metaphysical investigation
and this investigation happens after masturbation
masturbation is like the Petrine Era
then brief enlightenment
followed by the Romantic Era
which is like all special times combined
and it is sacred
and if you drew 4 earlier
you can be a part of that too