PONYTAIL

/in /by

As a man
Is it possible
To don a ponytail
In an appropriate way
I would say no
It is not
To which you would reply
What is appropriate
To which I would reply
Concerning male ponytails nothing is appropriate
To which you would reply
What about soccer players
To which I would reply
I’m talking about normal people, in public situations
To which you would reply
You didn’t say that
To which I would reply
Touché

I’m fairly certain that you have a ponytail fetish
And will not be invited to my wedding
To which my inner monologue replies
You will never get married, no one can love you because you don’t love yourself
To which I reply
But I love ponytail jokes

CURRENT TRENDS

/in /by

Everybody
is
getting
a
koi
fish
tattoo

then
one
day
people
will
realize: Asia isn’t cool
North America is

and
their
kids
will
get
tattoos
of
abandoned
factories
on
their
arms

and
they
will
laugh
at
their
smudgy
grandparents

MEMORY TOMATO

/in /by

Sometimes I love a woman
and my mom hates her
and it makes me love that woman more
I don’t know what this proves
Because I love my mom, we just get along poorly
because she is a stubborn old woman but she raised me
I’m alive at this moment in time
so I’d say she did a pretty good job
One time I took a blurry picture of her
in front of a large tomato plant that we grew together
The image of that photograph is stronger that my actual memory
In fact it has replaced the memory
Not sure what that proves either
It was just us you know

Somewhere in between humid summer nights I made sandwiches
It became an art form
My mother supported this art form by buying cold cuts
I never want to work a job I hate like she did
I hate my job now
I love my mom still
That woman raised me to walk away